Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Funfairs Are Actually Fun Again: Shock Horror

When you are seven years old, funfairs are magical. A place of promise and fulfillment of dreams. When you are a teenager they turn into scare-your-pants-off rollercoaster rides to see how many g's the body can take. Then they wain in the mind and are placed firmly into the 'been there done that' category.

Now, as I approach old age they are making a comeback in the estimation stakes. I went to one last week. I enjoyed it. well not actually the fair - but the observation of the people who were there and soaking up the atmosphere, even though there weren't many people there as it was freezing and wet.

I began to like the outrageous economies of the truth, which leapt out from every billboard.

Let's Fly to the Sky? Even if it was only thirty foot off the ground, it would most likely be far more comfortable and enjoyable than going with Mr. Ryan, SimpleJet or B My Toddler low cost hell.

Shock it to Em. You can't argue with that.

Medical advice is top notch. 'Any other physical limitations' covered it all. I felt most content at not having to think about each individual ailment. It has given me a great idea. From now on, when someone asks me; 'How are you?' I'm going to reply.

'Fine. Apart from a few other physical limitations.'

Shock wave were carefully chosen words. It was a shock to see your children going around like an out of control grandfather clock pendulum. And a wave of funny feelings emersed me.

In younger days, I would never have believed it possible to have a thrill without a drink.

Maybe these days the sad fact is that hooking a duck is more appealing.

And finally funfairs seem to be so much more considerate these days. How happy I was to know that they had specially labelled a seat for me. I sat in the Moon  Rocket ride, until I was evicted.

'Yeah. Right,' said a gruff voice. 'But we didn't mean THAT large.'

I tried unsuccessfully to shrink.

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