Thursday, 24 May 2012

What's All The Stink About With The Germans In Austria?

I cannot tell you what pleasure it gave me to see Stink Bombs in the window display of a joke shop. So many hours of peverse pleasure have been had by schoolchildren all over the world, myself included. The huge enjoyment of seeing a teacher we all detested, running out of the classroom retching will be one of my lifetime's top ten memories. The fact that when he returned we were all beaten (this was 1971 you know) did not ruin the moment.

Stink bombs seem to have taken on a more serious roll. The American and Israeli Governments have been trying to develop a Super Stink Bomb to be used to break up riots and civil disobediences. It should work a treat.

Looking back through history, a Martin Luther King rally was disrupted by an atrocious smell. 'We've had problems here tonight. The forces of evil are always around,' he is supposed to have said.

My mother and father once did a dastardly trick in the Tyrolean Alps in Austria. They queued for the early morning cable car, in the knowledge that it was mainly filled with German skiers. You've heard about German legendary status of being the first to grab the sun loungers by draping a towel over them. That is nothing to their desire to be the first on top of a mountain.  

My parents cracked the glass ampule before rushing out of the cable car just as the doors were closing, and racing downstairs for a grandstand view of what was going to ensue. Unsurprisingly, as the car left there was frantic movement towards the windows. They opened the windows, shook their fist (I say fist, singular, as their other hand was clamped vice-like to their nose)and  hurled a few old, unintelligible Prussian obsenity at them.

Satisfied that the cable car was well out of reach, they returned to their Gasthaus for breakfast.

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