Monday, 14 March 2011

iPhone Becomes pPhone And The Hillbilly Is Entertained

In these current times of terrible things happening around the world, you have two choices. Either you become embroiled in the psychological side effects and become depressed. Or life goes on as usual and it spurs you on to enjoy every minute and see the brighter and funnier things of life.

So when a schoolchild arrived in tears because an iPhone had fallen down the lavatory, everybody started laughing.

"When that happens, an iphone becomes a pPhone," said one wag.

"Reminds me of the joke about the rich Scotsman, the poor Scotsman and the dead Scotsman,"
started another student.

"I don't want to hear this," said the student who was unsuccessfully trying to get the soaked phone to fire up.

"I know," continued the mischief maker, "but I'll tell you anyway...a rich Scotsman has a canopy over his head; a poor Scotsman has a can 'o pee under his bed and a dead Scotsman cannae pee at all."

The old jokes come round again and the students found it mildly amusing. More amusing than I found the return journey home from school, with a car crammed with a wife, two children and an old dog and a brand new puppy. Travelling through a hamlet in the middle of nowhere there was a bang and judder as one of the snow tyres punctured and exploded.

While I was scratching my head looking at the damaged tyre, there was a buzzing noise and a man on a moped came through the mist and stopped in front of the car. He took off his helmet, walked round the car then stood in front of it and grinned like a Cheshire cat. And that is all he did. He stood, stared and grinned. He stood, stared and grinned all the way through the performance of changing the spare. It was eerie.

But that's all he did. When the new wheel was on, he put his helmet on and rode off into the sunset.

"What was all that about?" I later asked a local elder.

"Don't worry," he replied. "It's just typical hillbilly behaviour."



I am writing this with a sleeping six week old black Lakeland Terrier/Patterdale cross puppy in my arms. Therefore Cedric takes the blame this morning for awful spelling and grammar, not I.

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