Monday, 23 May 2011

Bus Driving Can Be A Fishy Business

Good news.

The town near the Land That God Forgot has a new attraction for bus drivers. There is one of those new fangled fish-nibbling-the mould between your toes businesses. They're everywhere. Perhaps the arrival of one into a town like this, might mean that saturation point amongst fish spas might bear close.

Just think of the luxury for a bus driver during their half hour break. It will be the cure to all flat feet, corns, and other ailments caused by feet moving up and down all day in hot, sweaty boots.

Then again, think of all those lovely diseases like verrucas and warts which might be spread all around. Already these spas have been shut down in Singapore and several parts of America.

'You can clean the tank, you can clean the water, but there's no guarantee that the fish aren't carrying something from the previous customer,' allegedly said a sanitation police spokesperson from Washington.

'Now I know what happens to those fish,' I said to a passenger who came onto the bus with a particularly pungent fish and chips, smothered in vinegar. 'They don't smell very good.'

'What do you mean?'

'After they've expired, I hear that they are sent to the chippy, pounded and reconstituted, before being dipped in batter and fried,' I said to her, trying to keep a straight face.

'You're joking, aint yer?'

'No and just think who might have been the fish's last customer.'


'A bus driver, of course.'

She stopped eating, walked off the bus and put the fish and chips into the bin. It was four hours later that the bus returned to its usual aroma.

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