My Hair Straighteners Are Missing

"What a joke!" cried the teacher as she put down her mobile phone. "They've found some of our luggage and say they forgot to load them onto the bus. "What am I going to do?"

"Well you've not got anything important in your case," said another teacher in consolation.

"Yes I have. I've got me hairdryer. What am I going to do without me hairdryer? And me hair straighteners. And me eyeliner. And me other make-up......" The list went on and on.

This was the vivacious school trip I had taken a couple of days ago. They were returning home to Tyneside. They weren't as lively as they were on the outward journey.

"I'm just knackered," said another teacher. "All I want is me bed." But they were still full of beans.

As we neared the school I drove through a cloud of birds, similar to Alfred Hitchcock's movie, 'Birds'. There must have been tens of thousands of crows swooping down onto the green patch in the middle of a roundabout. they narrowly avoided all the passing traffic and for a moment the view out of the front window turned black. It was a mesmerising sight.

"Oh that's just the fish factory," said one of the teachers. "happens every day between 4.30 and 5.15pm. The factory lets some smell of frying fish oot of its chimney and the crows come and investigate. In gfact there's not quite so many as usual."

We rolled into the school gates. The car park was full of eager parents meeting everyone with the same greeting.

"A'reet?"

"Aye a'reet, man. You a'reet"

It is always good to get a group to their destination without incident. There were no sicknesses either, which was a bonus and contrary to their outward journey. Luggage dropped. Bus checked. It just left for me to say goodbye...........

I was interupted by the urgent voice of a child somewhere down the back of the bus:

"Miss. Miss. Ermintrude has wee'd in the seat. Ermintrude has widdled......

"Yes that's quite enough Georgio.........Too loud Hamid........Let's go"

I inwardly sighed. You can't blame the child, who must have been in mental agony worrying about the consequences.

That's life. I don't think I used all the Detol earlier in the day. The teacher who was concerned about what she would miss in her missing luggage, was still making a list:

"...........ooh and I've left me house keys too........"