My Wipers Are Knackered - It's Just The Newness

'You're late,' said the cross passenger.

'Yes I know, but I'm only eight minutes late.' I replied.

'You're very late,' she continued not letting me off the hook.

'I had an excuse. I had to swop buses because the wipers broke and I couldn't see a thing.'

Silence.

'And,' I went on, 'it's not a good thing to go around in a bus when it's raining and being unable to clear your windscreen.

Silence.

'And, and, and ...' I haven't the faintest idea why I kept trying to justify my lateness. I really couldn't give a fig. It was the last day I was going to do this run and if there was a complaint against me, well, quite frankly ... bad luck.

The complaints came thick and fast. The passenger would not let up.  It was therefore satisfying in a childish way to find that there was a large clump of nettles by the bus stop where the moaning minnie got  off.

The wiper had been fine earlier. It had been raining all morning and the windscreen had been clearing fine. I was in one of the older buses, when for no apparent reason one of the wipers started behaving erratically, increased speed, went round full circle before disappearing off the bus windscreen and started trying to clear the water off the passing trees on the verge.

The other wiper worked for a bit, before becoming confused and giving up the ghost. The rain did not stop and it became harder to see out. I had to slow down and therefore was running late.

I rang the office. 'It's not been your week,' said the boss. 'First you broke the tyre when you had a puncture, then you had the dent in the side and now it's the wipers. Whatever next?'

I dread to think.