They Grow Up Fast These days

"Snodgrass wants to be a murderer when he grows up," I overheard the little girl say to her friend.

"Yeah," added the mischievous boy in the seat behind, "he's going to chop their 'eads off then boil 'em up in a mega big pot."

"Euuurrrgghhh. Yuk. Don't be dim like Tim. Don't be shut in like Jim," another boy started singing over and over.

"Sexy," Jack-the-lad muttered. He had disyllabically muttered 'sexy' at various times throughout the journey. There had been many inappropriate times when he had come out with his only known phrase, but this seemed to take the biscuit.

This was an earthy topic from the children. The teachers were sitting at the back and could not hear what they were saying. Perhaps they had been watching too many dvd's or perhaps the recent news about Raoul Moat had got to them.

All of the girls on the bus could have been named after American actresses. There was Yasmine, Megan, Brittany, Courtney and Lauren. They all had loud voices and answered questions in the same way.

"Yasmine?"

"Whaat?"

"Megan?"

"Whaat?

But they were sparky children. Funny too, with a lot to say for themselves. I started to try and divert their attention away from boiling heads:

"Why are the fields yellow?"

"Dunno - have they been painted?" Jack-the-lad thought he wasbeing clever.

"Sir," one of the girls shouted down the bus to the teacher. "Driver's giving us a geography lesson. Look at all them buttercups, sir."

But soon the subject of death returned. "Poor old Ricky," said one boy. "'E died from the smoke."

The others answered with an "Aah. Poor old Ricky. He was the local tramp, you know" they kindly told me.

"E lit a cigarette and set fire to his mattress. Me Dad tried to put 'im out. But it was too late."

I felt I had lived a sheltered life.