If you can't beat them - join them.
Britain has gone mad with April Fool mania. Everywhere you look, there is a prank. Every television channel, every newspaper, every corner. I blame Richard Dimbleby. He started it all with his spaghetti tree hoax on Panorama in 1957.
The school bus is not immune, so I thought I'd better strike first before the children sabotaged me.
"Sorry," I said. "There's an overturned truck which has shed its load of bananas on the road, so you will have to walk the last two miles to school. Mind where you step, though. Don't skid on a banana skin."
"Oh really?" said a child.
They got progressively more puerile and infantile. School closed because of blocked drains....lessons will be in the playing fields today....a UFO has landed and the teachers have been temporarily engaged...etc etc.
"You're LATE," said one angry student on boarding the bus.
"No I'm not," I replied indignantly, "I'm never........Oh."
They always have the upper hand.
This is a rare insight into the world of buses in North East England. It is seen through the eyes of a tall (6' 6 1/2" or 1.99m), distinctive middle aged bus driver who relies on a remark from one of his passengers as his motto: "You are better than some, but not as good as others." What occurs on my buses often defies belief and is usually funny. When I am not on the buses, it is a continued observation of the bizarre world around me.
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