The bus pa system boomed with the harsh tones of an Eastern European voice.
"Put your head between your knees......PLLEAASSE," said the agitated voice. I resisted the urge to add 'and kiss your arse goodbye', as it was a school bus run and the voice was one of the students.
"Do not move," he continued, "otherwise you will into the toilet crash." Due to the usual basic school bus being busy on another route, I had to take one of the executive coaches, which is equipped with dvd player, coffee machine and onboard lavatory. Far too good for a school bus run, but I had locked the lavatory and the dvd player was not working, so the microphone seemed harmless fun. Besides I had ultimate control and could turn it off at any time. It's a bit of fun for the children and makes the time go more quickly.
Having a diversionary tactic stems from my own childhood memory when my mother used to drive the school run. If the children were rowdy in the back of the car, she would wind down all the windows and invite us to scream as loud as we could out of the car. After five minutes we were exhausted and the rest of the trip continued in satisfied silence. Reverse psychology at its finest. Then again, the reason why my mother was so extrovertly tolerant may have been due to the fact that she was quite deaf.
Happiness.
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