Friday 29 April 2011

A Tunnel Is A Bus Toilet Drop

The Royal Wedding is a perfect place to invent puns which satisfy the British love affair with lavatory humour. Brigg Town Council in Lincolnshire led the way with their 'Royal Wee story':

http://www.briggpeople.co.uk/news/Royal-Wee-relief-Brigg-visitors/story-11046444-detail/story.html

I had my own lavatorial story, when a fellow driver told me about the last time he was driving his car through a tunnel, following a bus. Being a bus driver you tend to have a sixth sense about how other people are behaving in buses, when you are driving, regardless of whether it is in a bus or a car.

When he saw one of the drivers running to the back of his bus and disappearing out of sight, alarm bells started ringing. He did not believe any driver would do what he thought was about to happen. Seconds later a deluge of blue liquid and circular solids sprayed out of the back of the bus. The driver had obviously pulled the release handle on the chemical toilet. His car was covered.

Chemical lavatories are the bane of bus drivers' lives. The bus companies order drivers to empty them, before returning to base, but they refuse to pay the £10 or £20 charge reputable toilet dropping places charge. So a tunnel is an intuitive choice as an illegal depositing point, as the chances of getting caught are slim.

So be careful, if you see a bus in a tunnel, give it a wide berth.

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