Monday, 27 September 2010

How To Tell Where A Bus Has Been The Previous Day

"Inspiring Healthier Lives" trumpets the strap line of the Government's Healthy Schools initiative. They try hard in schools and offer many healthy alternatives. Outside the school gate the trouble starts. If the Schools Minister had seen me cleaning up the schoolchildren's breakfast that they had thrown onto the bus floor, he would have shivered.

The bus was strewn with the usual extreme sugar sweet wrappers. There were half eaten iced fingers, half eaten sausage rolls, a half eaten toffee apple and the piece de resistance was a half eaten jumbo chilli donkey salami stick; the one which looks as if wallpaper paste has been added to hold it all together.

Yes you have guessed it, it is my turn on 'garage duties', to clean the insides of the buses between driving the school run. The other buses gave off hints as to where they had been over the weekend. The condom under the seat - stag or hen party. The bin liner full of beer cans and bottles - Pisspots saturday night booze tour. The grass and mud - the ramblers Sunday ramble. The racing Posts and scrunchled up betting slips - a day at the races.

The very worst, though is placing your hand under the seat and it becoming glued stuck to the floor by landing on some chewing gum or some other unmentionable from the night before. It's an unglamourous business cleaning buses.

No comments:

Post a Comment