Monday, 18 October 2010

Grumpy Ol' Man River

Theres's nothing worse, as we have already discussed, than a grumpy bus driver. The black cloud over the driver's cab seems to permeate down the central aisle of the bus and any passenger seems to be afflicted by the same bad mood.

"Ah, are you not well today?" said the pensioner, stating the bleeding obvious.

"Have you got a cold? Yes you have. You are full of you hear that Gladys. He's full of cold."

It is October. Transporting children is a hazardous business, particularly at this time of year when they spread their loathsome germs. This time I have picked up a rip roarer of a bug. This is the fourteenth day on the trot that I am coughing and sneezing. My voice has deepened and the only saving grace is that I can sing "Ol' Man River" with ease, which has the added bonus of making the passengers want to get off quickly.

"Is everything alright?" said the boss. "You seem to have changed." Of course I have changed. Everyone does when they feel unwell. I go quiet and keep myself to myself. I am saved from having to explain myself. Another driver walks past, 'full of cold'. He is grumpy, too. In fact even grumpier than me. His rasping muttering deflects the boss's attention.

"Are you alright there..........?"

I quietly vacate the depot and hear the unpleasant noises of throat clearing, before a return to under the breath mutterings.

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