Stating the bleeding obvious. being at a loss as to what to say next and being as observant as a beetle, tend to be things which occasionally overrun each other. Certainly that was the case today when it was my turn to stand on the road with my little girl and wait for the school bus.
It duly came ten minutes late as usual. This is due to the driver discussing various farming matters with some of the mothers at various stops down the route. It doesn't matter as the children always get to school on time, so what's wrong with a bit of farming community chatter?
As the Big Banana, so named because of its lurid colour scheme, hurtled round the corner and came to a hissing stop, I failed to notice the gash down the side. So pronounced was it that you could make out the company colours of the previous owner of the bus. It looked positively streamlined and improved its image.
"How's your day?" I asked the driver naively and innocently. The returning glare could have withered nettles an 50 metres.
"Bloody awful," came the reply in broad West Country accent. "Caught the gatepost this morning. Bus was parked at the wrong angle. Put a dent right down the side."
I reddened and pondered what to say next. It was perhaps the wrong time to jokingly mention that this hideous yellow bucket looked a little more attractive. So instead I lamely said:
"Oh well, we all do it."
At least it was truthful. As a reader of this blog, you will know it was truthful and autobiographical. A dent in a bus was usually due to an error by the Accidental Bus Driver.
Was it a consolatory remark?
Judging by the speed at which the Big Banana took off up the road, the answer would have to be no - it did not make the driver feel any better. I walked back to my house, walking on air. It is nice to know that others dent buses too. Not just me.
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