Friday, 3 December 2010

Cockney Bus Driver's Tonic For The Sick

'Get A Job You Scrounger!" hissed the beginning of the Daily Mail's headline.
'Woman Bus Driver's Extraordinary Rant At Passenger On Crutches.' It continued.

She allegedly shouted at the man on crutches and made him move to another seat where he was in agony. Who knows what really happened. In her case,m according to the bus company, she has been taken off the road.

I have lost count of the number of passengers I have wanted to throw off the bus at best and do something worse to in more serious cases. But I keep things under my hat. I am there to serve. I drive a service bus.

There used to be another driver I drove with who is sadly no longer with us. He was a Southerner and ran a business as well as driving a bus. He used to take the bus to the cash and carry in between runs and stock up, using the bus as a convenient delivery van. Underneath the abrasiveness there was a great character. I liked him hugely.

Once I had to swop buses with him. There was a particularly sick girl with some kind of bug sitting on the front seat. I went to the shop and when I arrived back at the bus there was a packed supermarket trolley by the front door.

From inside the bus I could hear the girl groaning and then this Cockney voice:

"Oi! You can't sit there."

"Awwwwwwwwwwwww why not?

"I need that seat for me tonics."

The girl nodded and obliged by hobbling down to the back of the bus. Then he turned to me:

"Now then. Come along. Load them all on. I've got a bus timetable to keep."

I argued not.

No comments:

Post a Comment