Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Dangerous Don, The Teetering Bus And The Worrying Thought Of A Trip To The Theatre

"Hang on a minute lads, I've got a great idea! Err...." was Michael Caine's final line in the Italian Job (1969), as the bus teetered precariously over a cliff.

This is the scene which will greet me tomorrow morning in Newcastle when I arrive at the company's other depot. Well, it will be less dramatic. The bus will be dangling over a brick wall with a three foot drop rather than a cliff. I will hopefully have the means to move it. I should have a carload of bags of salt and shovels. The problem is that the bus is teetering over the wall at the entrance to the depot, meaning that no buses can come in or out. The problem has been compounded by another bus which has got stuck a few metres in front of the teetering bus.

This type of calamity has not befallen the company since Dangerous Don had bowled over a lamppost when the bus he had been driving had slid backwards on the ice. Don watched this whilst he unlocked the padlock of the main gate. The bus took off by itself as Don watched in horror. Damaging corporation property is always frowned upon and a bill for a new lamppost duly arrived several months later.

So who knows what tomorrow will bring?

It does not look good. Moving the teetering bus may be the easy part. Getting there could be a problem as the weather forecast is dismal. Then if we do rescue them the re is a difficult job to do. Four buses transporting a school to the theatre. It will be hell as there will be nowhere to park the buses, let alone find a drop-off point. As it is a special schools performance, there is the likelihood of many other buses heading for the same drop-off point.

"It will be challenging," said the boss. "But I know you like a good challenge."

I'll let you know tomorrow.

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